Decoys, Seat Fillers and Understudys

Decoys, Seat Fillers and Understudys

Decoys, Seat Fillers and Understudys

I can recall a time some 10 years ago or so, when I received one of the best pieces of advice to date…“Kelli, off-white looks white, until you place it next to something authentically white”. It took me a minute to truly embrace and digest what she said, but once that thing registered, it really registered. A knock-off of the real thing can look amazing…until you place it up against the real thing.

I must confess…

…I am a bit of a make-up geek. I love playing in make-up and when time permits, “beating” that face with a beautiful look to enhance what my mama gave me. There are a handful of YouTube beauty gurus/influencers that I have been following for some years [check out Jackie Aina…love her! |].

One thing that I have certainly learned from them is the wonderful invention known as a dupe. Not sinister in its motive like a decoy or deceptive product, a dupe is a less expensive version of a particular lipstick, blush, foundation, etc intended to provide you a similar version of the original. The color payoff, formula and long-wearing ability might not deliver quite like the original product, but you can still have a similar look for less. You know your girl loves a good bargain!

And while I love a good bargain and Lord knows I love a good dupe, I have realized that 9 times out of 10, I end up settling for an inferior product which yields an inferior make-up experience. When I’ve had an occasion to try both the original as well as the dupe, the experience with the original is noticeably more enjoyable, lasts longer, fits my complexion better and is a better overall match for my skin.

If we’re not careful, we can

settle for a dupe…

…because we don’t think our education, our pedigree, our bank account, social circle or even level of self-esteem deems us worthy of the original.

So let’s venture back to that off-white versus white discussion. I received that advice when I was dating a particular gentleman – but I was feeling like/sensed that something was just off. Ever feel like that? You may know it as a gut feeling or knowing good from evil – the bible describes it as the discerning of spirits (being able to tell a good intent/motive from an evil one). He wasn’t a horrible guy, he treated me with respect AND he was easy on the eyes. However, there was something that I just couldn’t quite put my finger on…I wasn’t able to shake off something about him. It’s a similar feeling that I have experienced over the years with co-workers, neighbors, even a few good ol’ church folk. *wink*

Her point was…

…that while he had a lot of the attributes of the authentic version of the man I was looking for, he just may have been a dupe. By himself, he appeared to be just fine, however, when I placed him up against the real deal (attributes of what I was truly looking for in a gentleman friend), the differences were glaring! Again, a dupe often yields an inferior experience. However, that which was authentically designed and created for a particular purpose in our lives, yields a superior product and therefore a superior experience – not perfect, but perfect for you.

Decoys, seat fillers and understudys may vary in the nuances of their definitions, but they all have 1 thing in common, none of them are the original nor guaranteed authentic. They are designed to provide a substitute option, in lieu of the real deal. And girlllluh, you deserve the real deal!

Decoy = lure or entice (a person or animal) away from an intended course, typically into a trap. Google Dictionary

Seat filler = A regular person used to fill up space (usually) in award shows so it looks like it’s packed full with people. Whenever somebody gets up to accept an award, a ‘seat filler’ is ordered to sit in that seat [until the celebrity returns]. Urban Dictionary

Understudy = a performer who learns the role of another in order to serve as a replacement if necessary. The Free Dictionary

So what decoys are present in

your life?

What mindsets, perspectives and viewpoints have you allowed to lure you away from the very best that God intended for the life of you and your family, your career and entrepreneurship goals and even from your community?

What people have you allowed to occupy the position of seat filler cuz you just want your friendship or dating roster – or maybe your bed – to be occupied?

What understudys are lingering around the main stage of your married life, ready to serve as a replacement to your spouse as soon as you give the green light?

I know, I know…some of that

may have hit below the belt.

But I’m swinging and coming right back and loving you up.

Having fallen prey myself to and in some instances freely allowed decoys, seat fillers and understudys to be a part of my life, my desire for you Peculiar Chix is to live a life free of all 3 of these jokers! I want you to have the authentic and genuine life that God desires for you to experience. Not a perfect one, cuz shugga’ those simply don’t exist. But a life that is perfectly crafted and created just for you.

He lays it out so clearly in the bible’s book of Ephesians, the 3rd chapter and 20th verse. Check it out below as I sign off for this week:

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” 


Love ya girlie! 

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At this intersection of faith, fabulosity and fun, you’ll find a space where pecularity is celebrated. It took me many years, but I finally discovered that I am indeed peculiar…and that being peculiar is amazing! I’d love for you to travel along this journey with me and celebrate this amazing gift of life that we have been provided.
You are welcome here!

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people…from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.” – 1 Peter 2:9

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