A Disruptive Mindset
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The Unexpected Upgrade

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The Unexpected Upgrade

The Unexpected Upgrade

While I wouldn’t consider myself a Beyonce fan……(Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, please don’t have the beehive coming for me. Please and thank you, Kelli Michelle). There are a few songs in her catalog that I’ve grown fond of and have come to enjoy.

One such record is “Upgrade You”. There is something that I absolutely love about a woman who’s doing her thang…connecting with a man who’s doing his thang…and the two of them uniting to do even greater thangs. To me, that is essence of couple love and the power of unity personified. Don’t get me wrong, as a single, woman doing her thang, I am a believer that you truly can do bad all by your doggone self! That unified bond though has no competition, in my opinion.

Way back in 2006…

…Beyonce essentially banters about with Jay Z regarding the value she brings to his life and the ways in which her entrance into his life will upgrade him. To which he responds in kind. Although some of the upgrades are materialistic in nature, there are also elements that speak to the sheer value that the presence of a woman brings on the scene when she enters the room. Yessss girl, our presence should elevate the atmosphere of any room that we enter. With our arrival comes peace, joy, love, compassion, strength, creativity, femininity and so much more.

Like the lady said, “…unless

you’re flawless, then your

dynasty ain’t complete without

a chief like me…”




Some upgrades are pre-planned and expected – much like making a conscience decision to connect with someone as noted in this song. Even if the outcome isn’t totally known from the beginning, we have scenarios where we choose to connect with another individual.

However, there are other upgrades that are completely unexpected and anticipated. While the outcome may be the same, getting there can be a bit bumpy. If the latter is the case, just hold your mule…an upgrade is on THEE way!

One such hold-your-mule

scenario happened to me


I was coming down the final road of the no-car-payment-zone on my vehicle. With 3 months of payments remaining, financial freedom from this expense line item was within my sights. I meannnn, I had plans for those funds…re-directed to other items in my budget in the short-term and then off to savings those monies would go!

I could feeeel the excitement, joy and elation bubbling up as the end was near!

While in route to the Farmer’s Market one Saturday morning, my excitement, joy and elation were all simultaneously crushed. You know that sound your car makes and you just know that you hear dollar signs ringing above the unknown tune of your vehicle? It’s like you just already know…Lucy, this is not going to be good.

So, thanks to a gift from

the parentals…

…I was able to utilize my AAA service to have the vehicle towed to a local shade-tree mechanic. Now let me just pause here…yes, I said shade-tree mechanic, but there is no shade intended. I have long since let go of the money pit that has been my experience with service at car dealerships. Once the warranty has expired, sign me up for a trustworthy, knowledgeable, proven mechanic that will save me some coins while providing solid service. I had 1 mechanic for 7+ years in DC and have now found 1 here in NC.

But I digress…

You know that feeling you have in your stomach when the phone rings from the service center who is housing your car? I mean to tell you that feeling is the worst! You just don’t know what dollar figure you are going to hear from the other end of the phone.

Wellll, this time the dollar figure was equivalent to a down payment on a vehicle. Like, for real!

Now, you do recall that I previously mentioned that I had the payoff date in sight right? I meannn, I could visualize the dance of celebration that I was going to embark on when that final payment was made. It was in.my.sight! And then this happened….

To say I was bummed would be

a gross understatement

I ran through the gamut of emotions – anger, frustration…oh, did I mention anger and frustration? Followed up by the textbook Kubler Ross 5 stages of grief:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger (there it is again)
  3. Bargaining (Dear Sweey Baby Jesus, can I pretty please just make it to the end of these car payments? PLEASE!)
  4. Depression (but what about my no-car-payment-in-my-life plan??) – and then finally…
  5. Acceptance

Much deliberation and discussion with my wise counsel ensued and I begrudgingly began the search for a new car. Grrr! After spending quality time with Google researching options and even visiting a local dealership, I located the car I wanted. But ummm errr uhhhh, did I mention it was in Augusta, GA?


Headed down to the peach state, scooped up the new whip and headed back home.

And for all of my griping and moaning and complaining, I had fooled around and found myself the recipient of The Unexpected Upgrade.

Remember, my car was almost was paid off. But what I hadn’t fully realized was that I was nursing along a vehicle who’s life had long since reached its expiration and usefulness in my life. The season had come to an end. The curtain had closed. The lights had been shut off. Yet I was still trying to make it work.

I failed to realize that because I was so singularly focused on getting to the “no car payment zone”, I wasn’t even open to the upgrade that was becoming available in my life!



It wasn’t until roughly 2 weeks later that it hit me, wow, I really like the car! What a joy to have reliable transportation (my previous car had to be towed more times than I can shake a stick at). What a joy to press gas and the car zooms ahead (instead of looking at you like, ‘girl, we’ll get there when we get there’). What a joy to not only have a nice, safe, reliable vehicle, it had all the amenities that my previous car had and some great, new ones that I didn’t even know existed.



The long and short of it is this ladies, there are times when we are holding on for dear life to items and sometimes people whose season has simply come to a close. Their assignment has been completed and fulfilled in your life.


No need to fret…

…no need to be angry, no need to dig in your nails to hold onto what has run its course. Just ask God to confirm the fulfillment of the assignment and proceed from there as He directs. Should he say ‘It is finished’…then prepare to receive your upgrade – in whatever area of your life.

I believe I’ve shared this before, but one of my fav scriptures is found in the book of Ephesians, all the way at the end of the 3rd  chapter “God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us…”


You never know what upgrade has your name on it and is just awaiting delivery into your life!

Love ya girlie!   


photo credits: carolynedgar.com, tech-coffee.net, communitiesrightnow.com

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  • Tanya Canady says:


    I hope all is well with you and for you. I really enjoyed this article and it is definitely confirmation for me. This is the first one I have read and will venture back to the ones that were previously written. It is so good to connect with you again.


    • PeculiarChixCEO says:

      Hey there Tanya! So good to see your name in the comments section. Thank you for checking out my blog and for your support. Glad you enjoyed it!

  • Heather says:

    Girl another ‘on time’ blog from PC. What can I say but thank you. Yep it’s time for me to upgrade and let go of what is taking up my time with little or no joy associated with it. It’s so easy to keep on doing because it’s comfortable or it pays your bills and allows you to travel. I’m about to shake some things up and look forward to my upgrade.
    Keep being you and doing your thang.


    • PeculiarChixCEO says:

      Aww you are the best Heather…truly! I look forward to hearing about how you’ve shaked things up. Great to catch up with you the other day. Smooches! 🙂

  • Kim says:

    Enjoy your “upgrade!”

  • Domonique says:

    Great read ! Thankful to my brother Chiwonne for sharing. I am experiencing expected and unexpected upgrades myself ! I will continue to search for the blessing in it all ! Thanks for sharing 😊

    • PeculiarChixCEO says:

      Domonique!!! Thanks so much for taking the time to visit on the advice of a great man! 🙂 So glad you enjoyed your time here…feel free to come back and visit often. And excited to hear about upgrades are present in your life…expected and unexpected. My best to ya! 🙂

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At this intersection of faith, fabulosity and fun, you’ll find a space where pecularity is celebrated. It took me many years, but I finally discovered that I am indeed peculiar…and that being peculiar is amazing! I’d love for you to travel along this journey with me and celebrate this amazing gift of life that we have been provided.
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“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people…from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.” – 1 Peter 2:9

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