Welcome to The Dating Diaries, a Peculiar Chix series!
Dear Kelli Michelle,
So, I barely made it through the Thanksgiving holiday without the inevitable, single girl’s question “when are you going to bring someone home with you?”. I’m 39 and single and while there are some prospects lingering in my life, there’s no one I’m ready to introduce to my family. Although I’ve considered bringing someone home, just to get my family to back off from the questions, I decide against it – I don’t want to bring a man home just to be bringing someone home. Look, I’m not even sure if he’ll be around for my birthday! Not to mention, I’m trying to keep my mind right so I don’t slide into a “situation” cuz I let my emotions kidnap my logic. With Christmas around the corner, how can I get my family to give me some space without losing it and seeming like the angry, bitter, almost 40 chick? And how do I keep my emotions under wraps cuz I don’t have someone to snuggle with by the fire, yet another holiday season?
~ Home for the holidays with a side of Runaway Emotions
Dear Home for the Holidays with a side of Runaway Emotions,
Girl, I get it…you hear me, I GET IT! Many a holiday have rolled by and if I heard Mariah singing “Santa Baby” one more time, I thought I was going to scream!!! While I have had the luxury of experiencing family that refrains from pressure, I know plenty of people who’ve had to endure that stress-filled day. I think it’s helpful to start with some self-talk before you arrive at your destination. (I’ve talked to myself many a day!) As much as you’d like to have a great partner accompany you, that individual is not on the scene nor in that role at this point. And it is much, much better to be solo and even partially peaceful then with someone and totally miserable.
The reality is that a special someone, worthy of meeting those dearest to you, hasn’t made an entrance into your life…yet. And even though that may hurt, be disappointing and possibly frustrating, that is the current reality. You can allow that fact to control you or you can take the opportunity to get in front of that reality. You can control it by taking the time to guard your heart. This will protect you not only from the impatient family and nagging emotions, but also from making temporary heart decisions that have lifelong, permanent affects.
Here are a few things that have
worked for me:
1) Recite scriptures that affirm what I’m trying to accomplish: “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts”. – Proverbs 4:23 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+4%3A23-27&version=MSG
2) Type up and recite affirmation statements placed on my bathroom mirror (i.e. “I am grateful that I am easily attracting an incredible man who sincerely loves God, is emotionally available, financially stable and we are encouraging each other to become the best versions of ourselves.”)
3) Politely but firmly diverted conversations with friends, family, co-workers and nosy folks that inquired about my holiday love life plans. This time of year, my full-time job was keeping my mind right and my emotions under control. I simply couldn’t afford anyone aborting my plan to remain even keel. I was trusting God to bring the right man on the scene at the right time and I didn’t need any distractions from this plan.
And for goodness sake, as the Zales and “…he went to Jared” commercials ramp up for the 4th quarter marketing sales pitches, keep a tight rein on what you allow your eyes to see and your ears to hear. Guarding your heart keeps your emotions intact and your panties properly resting at your waist. Let’s not have any “oops moments” as we close out 2017 okay? I’m just sayin’!
Love ya girlie!
photo credit: teepublic.com